A Reality Check With ... John (CBS's "Pirate Master")

John Lakness is a self-described "unapologetic nerd" who taught himself to program computers while in grade school, which got him into plenty of trouble with "hacking, cracking and anarchy." Lakness describes himself as Tarzan dressed in a tuxedo to entertain at a dinner party. A consummate athlete, John takes any physical challenge he can find as a way to stay fit: wrestling, running, swimming and a refusal to drive when cycling is at all possible. He sits down with RealityCheckByGina to talk about being the first one to leave the game & what he might have done differently.

RC: Were you a big fan of pirates growing up? What drew you to Pirate Master?

John: I don’t know about that. Growing up, everyone has a fascination. I got brought into Pirate Master as part of Pirates Magazine. I was writing pirate romance stories & thinks like that, I got into it for a number of reasons. Basically it was like, “Here’s this pretty boy!” The thing about piracy is that it’s such a big field of history. You can spin it any way you want. It was really a way to capture the imagination.

RC: Your job description under your name on the show says Scientist/Exotic Dancer – can you explain that a little further?

John: I was in the quantum electronics department at M.I.T. Quantum electronics is day stuff & obviously, Chippendales shows don’t start at 8am. I find a way to get out there. The physical aspect of getting from one place to another isn’t the hard part – it’s the mental part, going from a cubicle rat to a wild entertainer. I needed a mode of expression.

RC: What were you told going into Pirate Master? Did you not expect it to be so physically demanding?

John: No, I expected a lot! Are you kidding me? I know what a pirate ship was like. Jeez, we didn’t even do close to the amount of work I was expecting. Those girls were tougher than I was, though. It wasn’t the kind of situation that required intense competence on a boat – things like getting those sails working, figure out the trade winds, find food. I wanted to be Black Bart: the quirky, smart, strange guy who works hard & is competent. I was ready to get on a real pirate ship & fire some cannons!

RC: You seemed to do well in the challenge for the treasure. Did you feel that you would be safe from pirate court?

John: Oh, forget about how well I did! When I pulled that treasure out of the water, I thought, “Oh, I am safe!” As soon as Cameron said, “The black team no longer exists,” I just went into a head spin.

RC: Your approach in pirate court was to threaten to take the only compasses the pirates had with you if you were cut adrift. Do you stand by that tactic?
John: There are definitely different ways to leverage. I had very little to go on in terms of what was going to save me. Everyone went into court thinking they were going to vote me off. It’s based on things I can’t really control. I needed to bring out a strong emotion & lay it all out on the line. There might’ve been a better way to leverage the compasses but it might have only worked with professional stockbrokers!

RC: Nobody likes to go out first on these shows. Were you angry or were you accepting of the decision?
John: Well, I guess I knew that I was either going to win or go off first. I felt if the game was slightly in favor of someone like me, then I would win because I played boldly & intensely. I thought, “If I play an extremely bold game & this game is meant for the bold, then I’m going to win! If I sit back & play a weak game, I could sit back & have a 1-in-16 chance.”

RC: Do you think that Joe Don’s days are numbered as captain?

John: At that point on the show, I saw a mentality developing where people had accepted their role as subservient to this guy. As a viewer, I think it’s difficult to understand that it’s more than just people thinking logically about the game. When you’re really in the situation & you live it, this guy isn’t just some reality contestant who gets nominated as captain. He IS the captain. I don’t think things are going to change anytime soon.

RC: What are your future plans?

John: Plans for the future, well, I don’t like to divulge too much about things because the best I can hope for is that I can create excitement.

Pirate Master airs Thursday nights on CBS.

For all your Pirate Master links, check out sirlinksalot.net

Pirate Master: The Voyage Of The Scientist/Exotic Dancer (5/31/07)

Pirate Master opens with the players rowing in open, foggy water. They come upon a pirate ship where they are greeted by host Cameron Daddo. The pirates learn that the vessel is fully functional, and they are expected to pull their weight. Their first task: pull a treasure chest out of the open water. Cameron tells the pirates a story of a pirate named Henry Steel who hid his treasure in 14 different places. THIS is why they are there – to find the treasure, keep what they do find, and hopefully end with a grand prize of 1 million dollars.

The pirates immediately begin getting acclimated with one another. The creepy award is immediately bestowed upon John, a scientist AND exotic dancer … boy, those are just a dime a dozen, aren’t they? He invades everyone’s personal space & hits on every girl that looks at him. He’s not thinking of the right kind of booty, though, as the rest of the pirates set their sites on the money at the end of this journey. Another pirate we should keep our eye on is Louie, a zanier version of Survivor’s Rupert, who keeps things entertaining. It’s not long before the water starts affecting the pirates and Joy takes a beating from sea sickness.

Pirates are split into 2 crews for missions only– the red crew & the black crew. They are sent out on a mission to find the first treasure. The winning crew gets to keep what they find which is always a great motivator. The pirates must paddle up the Indian River to find a dead man’s tree. Then, on foot, they must find keys to unlock a cage which holds their next map. The red crew immediately finds themselves rowing off course while the black crew sails ahead.
After finding their new map, the crews head up the river where they have the opportunity to sabotage the other crew. The black crew takes full advantage, slowing the red crew down. The crews end in Crocodile Lair where they must dive down and find the treasure tied to croc heads. The red crew catches up and for a minute, things start to look very tight. In the end, Creepy John figures out where the crocs heads are & pulls out a win for the black crew. Other members of the winning team include: Louie, Ben (a musician), Alexis (a fashion publicist), and Cheryl (a district attorney).

The black team is asked to immediately elect a captain and Joe Don, a firefighter is chosen. JD must pick two officers & he chooses Cheryl & Ben. The rest have been demoted who must now obey JD’s orders, much to their dismay. JD, Cheryl, and Ben receive keys to the captain’s quarters & now run the ship. To top it off, JD gets half the prize (of $40,000), Cheryl & Ben split $10,000 and the rest of the winning crew gets $2,000 each. This can only breed animosity – nice job, Mark Burnett.

Joe Don must now mark 3 pirates to be cut adrift by marking them. Those 3 pirates can make their case in pirate court to stay. However, all pirates may band together to mutiny against their captain and cut HIM adrift. Everyone is in agreement that Creepy John has gotta go. Louis also ended up on the target list along with Joy. Creepy John eases Joy’s fears by attempting to plan a mutiny against JD.

At pirate court, Louie, Joy, and Creepy John made their case to stay on the ship. Creepy John threatens to take the only compasses the pirates have with him if he is cut adrift. He also makes a fairly convincing argument against Joe Don but JD is quick to fire back against him. The pirates vote by placing a ballot on a dagger – once all ballots are counted, the pirates have decided Creepy John has been cut adrift. I’ll be talking to Creepy John myself tomorrow so make sure you check back to get all the dirt on what went down on that pirate ship!

Pirate Master airs Thursday nights on CBS

Get all your Pirate Master links on sirlinksalot.net

My D-List Mission For Kathy Griffin

You'd think that one D-Lister would understand another. Such is not the case thus far with Kathy Griffin, whose new season of Bravo's "My Life On The D-List" premieres next week. Let me back up a minute. I have been a long-time fan of Ms. Griffin's. She did a comedy show at my college years ago & I went to see her. She was hilarious (of course) and since then, I have followed her career - watching her show, buying her standup specials, etc. On May 27th, she was scheduled to do a show at the Mohegan Sun Casino in CT where I am from. I figured, "What a perfect opportunity to interview Kathy about her tour & new show!"

It is cool to be a full-time writer of a blog about reality television. Life could be worse, right? I get to watch tons of reality shows & interview the stars of them once they're eliminated. Some people don't understand the one downside. Talking to your favorite reality stars means you might learn things that you didn't want to know. You were happier being in the dark - not knowing they can be rude or that a show isn't really what it says it is.

I don't believe Kathy Griffin is a D-Lister. I'd say she's B-List. She was front & center at the finale of American Idol, she sold out Carnegie Hall (a place few female comedians get to play), and she often is a guest and co-hosts The View. D-List is like ... Screech on Celebrity Fit Club. Kathy's staff says she doesn't do in-person interviews & now she's not interested in a phone interview either. I find this interesting since on her show, she says she'll take any job she can get and is a self-proclaimed "media whore". Is it all just a ploy for ratings?

I emailed Kathy myself thinking, "If she's really D-List, she probably answers her own emails." So far, no response. I'm on a mission to get this woman to interview with me. I will watch her new season of her show because it's one of my favorites - but I'm starting to think that I (and you, the viewer) are being scammed by her reality show.

Here is the letter dated May 24th. I'm still waiting for a response. So far, the only responses I get are her "people" telling me she's not interested:

Dear Kathy,

I have been a big fan of yours for a number of years. I saw you live when I was in college some years back & I thought your show was great. I have watched your D-List show on Bravo as well as bought your specials on ITunes.

When I started my reality website a few months ago after years of doing radio, I was excited to talk to my favorite reality stars and recapping all the best shows. When I heard that not only was D-List coming back this summer but that you were going to do a show in my home state of CT, I was excited. I figured - what a perfect opportunity to be able to interview you.

Your publicity staff told me you don't do in person interviews and that you would only do an interview if you felt that ticket sales needed a boost. I have readers all over the country & really wanted to promote D-List & have the opportunity to sit down to talk with you whether in person or over the phone. So far, my efforts have been in vain.

I want you to have success. I, of course, don't think you belong on any D-List. Someone who co-hosts The View, corresponds on E!, and sits front & center at the Idol finale is not D-List in my mind. I always thought you were really real & stayed true to your fans.

I can't tell if the show is set up or if that's really how your life is. Either way, it is undeniably entertaining. I just wanted to say that as someone who writes about reality & has followed you for a number of years, I was hoping you'd be more open to interviews & meeting those who are interested in you.

Good luck with the show, I certainly hope our paths do cross. Since I had no luck so far with your publicity people, I thought I'd come directly to you and hope you do, indeed, read these emails yourself.

Thanks,

Gina

www.realitycheckbygina.com

gina@realitycheckbygina.com

A Reality Check With ... Dr. Boogie (Bravo's "Shear Genius")

Let's face it - when Dr. Boogie is on the screen, there's no shortage of drama OR comedy. This is precisely why he will be missed on Bravo's "Shear Genius". Boogie was eliminated last week just before the finals for not being a team player. He sits down with RealityCheckByGina to dish on his skills & his man-crush on Rene!

RC: How did you hear about “Shear Genius” & what made you want to apply?
Dr. Boogie: I heard about the show – they knew I was a Hollywood baby runnin' around Hollywood. How can you do Shear Genius without Dr. Boogie? I went in for an audition, they loved me! They didn’t want me to leave.

RC: Tell us a little bit about your training & background?
Dr. Boogie: I come from Paris Beauty College in California. I’ve owned a couple of hair salons, I’m from the Bay Area. One day, I went up to Morris Day (who lived in my town) & said, “I can do your hair better than that!” It worked for me. I met Eve the rapper – I dyed it platinum blonde! She hated me for it but it put her on the map. I became a celebrity stylist.

RC: Once you sized up your competition in the beginning, did you feel confident? Who were you worried about?

Dr. Boogie: I wasn’t worried about it. We walked into a room & saw each other for the first time, I thought this would be fun.

RC: You got eliminated last week after stepping in to the photo shoot too many times & making the model’s hair too heavy. Did you sense you were in trouble?
Dr. Boogie: I didn’t see that I was in trouble. They have judges, they have a scoring system. I guess I didn’t produce what they wanted me to. We’re all winners though!

RC: When you watched the episode back, what did you think about the photo shoot you worked on?

Dr. Boogie: Here’s the situation, I had 2 options: let her hair be in her face & have a picture with a whole hairy face or keep her hair out of her face. I could get it right or not get it right.

RC: Is there anyone in the finals that surprises you?

Dr. Boogie: Oh my God! Ben! I love Ben but I couldn’t believe it! I thought after the red carpet thing, he would’ve been in the dumps.

RC: Explain the infatuation with Rene.
Dr. Boogie: Rene is so cute to me! Look at him, he’s like a Ken doll. I never really had a Ken doll but it did take me back to my younger days when I played with Barbie dolls. I had to flirt with somebody! None of the cast members wanted me, so I went up to Rene!

RC: Who do you stay in touch with?

Dr. Boogie: Not everyone, I love Daisy & Tabatha – they’re my homegirls. When the show is over, we can be all friends! I’m on my way to New York now to find out who the winner is!

RC: Where can we find you now & what are you doing?

Dr. Boogie: You can see my website where I’ve created my own line of products & hair pieces. Women can have that Hollywood look, and save time & save money. Check it out!

Check out the finale of "Shear Genius" tonight on Bravo at 10pm EST

For all your Shear Genius links, visit sirlinksalot.net!

My Interview On WPLR

Sorry it took me a few days to get it up but here is my interview from last week on WPLR. You can always stream their station live HERE - check out Chaz & AJ in the morning, they're great guys!

So You Think You Wanna Audition?

Reality shows make auditions seem like a lengthy but maybe simple process, right? You stand in line, you wait, you see the judges, they tell you if they like you, and you either move on or go home. But the reality audition process involves much more hoop jumping then you might have thought. Jennifer, a dancer from Connecticut, made the trip to New York City to try out for Fox' "So You Think You Can Dance". Here was her experience:

"The audition process was long. I waited outside for like 6 hours and when I finally got inside, I had to wait another 4 hours. Once it was your turn, you had to show your best 30 seconds of dance in front of the producers and other directors. You were then brought up in group of tens to show your best 30 seconds. Afer that, they line you up and give out golden tickets to those that were put through to the next round, which would be the next day. I got one of the golden tickets. Then you had to go downstairs and sign a million contracts and go through an interview both on and off camera. There were cameras everywhere! The next day was a day of waiting again. I was brought to this room with about 100 other dancers and we waited for 10 hours to perform our 1 min solo in front of the judges that you see on tv. It was an amazing experience!"

Thanks to Jennifer for sharing HER audition experience with us. If you've tried out for a reality show, and want to share the process, send an email!

So You Think You Can Dance airs on Fox Wednesday & Thursday night.

Preview: Pirate Master

Before you pass off CBS’s summer reality show “Pirate Master” as a ripoff of Survivor, take a closer look. Yes, the pirates have to live together & work together. Yes, every week someone is voted out. And yes, there is a monetary prize at the end that each pirate is after. But this is no vacation on a beach on Fiji. These 16 pirates have to live & work together on a real pirate ship circa 1730. They must eat, sleep, and work as if it were truly the year 1730. Each week, 3 pirates are marked by their captain and must get up to speak at pirate court to plead their case. The pirate voted out is cut adrift or the pirates may mutiny against their captain and set them adrift. I'm excited already!

“Pirate Master” host Cameron Daddo sat down with RealityCheckByGina to talk a little about the upcoming premiere.

RC: Did you have much sailing or experience on the water before doing this show?
Cameron: My sailing experience has never been in a big ship like that. My experience has been in catamarans, wind surfing, surfing, and swimming. I’ve spent a lot of time in the water, I’ve always loved the sea.

RC: Were the contestants prepared for how physical this show would be & how much work they would need to do?
Cameron: Absolutely not. I don’t think any of them expected what actually happened. The ship is a working ship & they needed to put in the work. There were chores to be done. The motion of the ocean got to them in the very beginning. It’s not for the faint of heart. The 4 hour watches really knocked them around as well. In the expeditions they’d be dealing with running, mudpits, sabotages – come back, prepare food, be up a few hours later. You throw in a barrel of rum on top of that – that’s a lot of hard work!

RC: Was there a lot of effort that was put into being historically accurate?
Cameron: Not so much the history aspect of it, certainly the period of it. We kept as close as we could to the time period & make this world alive for them. We created this world where they’re back in 1730 and all the tools they used (compasses, maps), everything was leather, old. The art department & expedition organizers worked overtime to keep this illusion, this world alive & make it believable for them.

Make sure to check our Pirate Master, premiering Thursday May 31st on CBS!

Get all the Pirate Master info you scallywags can handle at sirlinksalot.net